Infinite Stratos: Episode 11

I really thought this series was going to be a full twenty-four episodes. However, after some wiki digging I found out that next episode is the finale. Which is frankly disappointing. In the beginning of the first episode, before the opening credits roll, we see a full minute and a half of the fight with Gospel. We did not know that at the time, of course. It was one of those "Here is what you have to look forward to if our show ever gets good" clips. Having that be from the final showdown just feels really anticlimactic. I mean, Ichika's full stereotype harem was not even completed until episode nine.

Let's get on with the review. I have wasted enough time. So, we left off last episode with an unmanned IS built by the USA and Israel called Gospel going berserk and flying to bomb Japan. Houki got her god-mode IS, which should be able to replace everyone on the team, but since she is not the main character, Ichika has to deliver the fatal blow to Gospel. Oh, sure, you can claim that it's because Ichika's weapon is stronger because he can overcharge it, but we all know it's because he has a penis. Speaking of overcompensating with your sword, and all such innuendos, Ichika's IS is slower than Houki's, so he gets on her back and "rides her" to battle.

And that is why you will never marry

Check out the way her IS lifts and separates her breasts. You know, to make her more aerodynamic, or whatever. That seems extremely uncomfortable when maneuvering at high speeds. That is why sports bras are designed to form a compact uni-boob. Centrifugal force is not kind to extremities. Go stand up and spin around with your arms spread out for a while. See how long it takes for your fingers to hurt. Now do that at one thousand feet per second, half a mile in the air. Go on, I'll wait.

While you were busy spinning, Houki and Ichika caught up to and engaged Gospel. Although, like most military operations conducted by inexperienced high school students, it did not go as planned. Some fighting was involved, the sneak attack failed, pretty much what you would expect. Then Ichika intercepts Gospels attacks to protect an illegal fishing boat. Houki starts chewing him out for protecting people who deserve to die.

Then this happens. I have no idea why. Honestly, what the hell is going on here? Why are they naked in a room full of sparkles talking out their emotional baggage? Ichika talks about how she has changed since she got her own personal IS. You know, an hour ago. It is clear she is an entirely different person because she has power now, and not just stressed out because the Terminator is trying to kill them. 

 ("Non-patriotic emotions detected! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!" -Gospel... If it was a Dalek.)

Gospel had shown great patience and respect while waiting for them to finish up their touching moment, which is something it must get from its Israeli side. But the moment passed and it launched a barrage of laser fire at Houki.

Ichika must play a druid in World of Warcraft, because he tanks with his face!

So, Ichika winds up falling into the ocean, Houki saves him and they retreat. Ichika is hospitalized. Houki blames herself, and sits by his unconscious body, crying for so long I thought she was going to reenact that hospital scene from End of Evangelion.

 

 (No, not this one. The one where Shinji is sad. Jesus.)

Anyway, Houki takes a run on the beach, crying as the sun sets. It all very dramatic and sad. No wait, contrived and boring. I felt it needed something. There was no music, it was just her running, panting and being sad. I could tell I was supposed to feel some kind of emotion, but it was just awkward to watch. Like the volleyball scene in Top Gun.

This all prompts a flashback to Houki and Ichika as little kids at the Shinonono family dojo. In a touching display of friendship, little Ichika beat up a fat kid for calling Houki a tomboy. He then told her that she looks good with a ribbon in her hair, and should wear it more often. She replies by saying she will not follow orders and wear something just because someone told her to. You know, like that kendo uniform she is wearing. So that is why she wears that ribbon in her hair all the time. It just goes to show you, a woman will never make an effort to improve her image unless a man told her to.

Flashback is over and she tells everyone that she will never pilot an IS again. And if her sister Tabane was here, I would actually feel bad for her. I mean, she is a terrible character, but she had just built her a multimillion dollar war machine, and the most advanced weapon on the world. Rin shows up and slaps her and tells her that she is being stupid. Houki, having not considered that, agrees to pilot her IS again. This all took about forty seconds. The writers did not built the dramatic tension well.

(The iGauntlet, new from Apple)

The rest of Ichika's harem show up and decide to make their own battle plan without consulting the teachers. Laura comes up with the genius plan of charging Gospel with all of their IS at once. You know, Blitzkrieg. Real original plan. I am sure it took many years of German special forces training to come up with such a precise plan as "Let's jump him!" And if that doesn't work, lets just use the biggest gun we have!

("Mein Gott! Vat vould Sigmund Freud have to say about zis?")